2017: Books in Quick Review

In no specific order, here are my non-fiction reads from 2017.  I hope these tiles inspire your own literary journey this year. Happy Reading!

What Falls From the Sky: How I Disconnected from the Internet and Reconnected with the God Who Made the Clouds by Esther Emery

This book was my inspiration for 2017. My goal was to make it the full year without social media, but I only lasted six months before I caved during my recovery this summer. But, this book served as a reminder that life is best lived beyond the screen. I may spend multiple days in front of the screen in pursuit of my degree, but that does not mean I should stop searching for ways to live outside my four walls. I highly recommend this book if you are finding yourself living in front of your screens to much, even if you do not last a year off, you will be challenged to embrace real life in a big way.

Chasing Slow: Courage To Journey Off The Beaten Path by: Erin Loechner

This is one of the first books I read this year and the only book I reviewed in 2017; it rocked my world. I have and continue to struggle with comparison and continually hustling to prove myself to the world around me. This book broke down some personal walls for me as I fight to stay in pursuit of the life God has given me to live. Slowness is not a dirty word, even though the world says otherwise. This book continues to challenge me to fight to live my story and live it out loud. To embrace the actual slow moment as well as redefining my thoughts on success. Highly recommend this book that is a part of my permanent collection of books. 

Make it Happen: Surrender Your Fear. Take The Leap. Live on Purpose by Laura Casey

I am a huge fan of Laura Casey, the visionary behind the PowerSheets, which is a purposeful goal planning workbook that helps individuals live a progress over perfection lifestyle. 2017 was the first year I used PowerSheets and I accomplished and grew more in a year than I ever have before. In light of using PowerSheets I thought I would start 2017 by reading Laura’s first book. Make It Happen, helped me think and dream beyond my own understanding of myself. To live on purpose and value the progress that takes place on a daily basis within the story of my life. I highly recommend Laura’s book and her PowerSheets, they have changed the way I look at and live my life.

Si-Renity: How I Stay Calm and Keep The Faith by Si Robertson

This is Uncle Si’s second book and unlike the first one, this book dives more into his life story and the lessons he has learned along the way. From the Vietnam War to how Si met his sweetheart, this book is light hearted and an encouraging read. This was a quick read for me and was one of the happiest books I read this year.

I Was Blind (Dating), But Now I See: My Misadventures in Dating, Waiting, and Stumbling into Love by Stephanie Rische

One of the most relatable books I read this year, I highly recommend this read to any single girl living life in this world. Even if you are not single this read will make you laugh, cry, and think all at the same time. I could not put this book down as I cringed and learned with Stephanie along her journey of growing and navigating the single life. God’s faithfulness endures forever. 

On My Own Two Feet: From Losing My Legs To Learning TheDance of Life by: Amy Purdy

I became captivated by Amy Purdy when she was on Dancing with the Stars. Her story is one of perseverance and saying “yes” when the world says “no”.  This was another quick read for me and one of my top picks in the Memoir category for 2017. Empowering, encouraging, and inspiring Amy Purdy is a beautiful soul. 

Miracle On VooDoo Mountain: A Young Woman’s Remarkable Story of Pushing Back the Darkness for the Children of Haiti by Megan Boudreaux

After reading Megan’s story I have an even stronger desire to serve those who are oppressed in our world. It is easy for me to stay in my bubble and not acknowledge the injustice going on in the majority of the world. This book was a strong reminder that when Jesus has placed something on your heart no matter how crazy and hard it may seem to the world and yourself, God is faithful. That is all that matters, God is faithful and when we commit our days to Him amazing things happen. Highly recommend this book if you want to be challenged and pushed to see beyond the box you keep yourself in.

The Reason: How I Discovered A Life Worth Living by Lacey Sturm

I cried through this entire book. Lacey, if you do not know is was the lead singer of Flyleaf, one of my dad and I’s favorite rock groups. In her first book Lacey tells her raw story of sex, drugs, suicide and rock and roll and how God transformed her life from the inside out. Depression and suicide are a part of my story and I connected deeply with her life story. She writes in a completely raw and beautiful way that challenges my own writing style. She holds nothing back and I will not hold back how much I recommend this read, especially if you or someone you love is struggling to see that this one precious and wild life is worth living. 

Twenty Two: Letters to a Young Woman Searching for Meaning by Allison Trowbridge

This book was a wildcard for me. I did not know what to expect from it, I just liked the beautiful cover. I was pleasantly surprised at how relatable and encouraging this book was for young women. This book would make a great present for any girl graduating high school or in her college years, as it is a series of letters encouraging young women through those beautiful hard years of growth and maturity in faith and responsibility. This will be one of my go to gifts for the graduating ladies in my life. 

She Reads Truth: Holding Tight to Permanent in a World That’s Passing Away by Raechel Myers & Amanda Bible Williams

She Reads Truth is not just a book but a movement of women desiring to stay plugged in to God’s Word. This book is a behind the scenes look at both of the women behind the movement and how their lives have been shaped by the truth of God’s word. I was encouraged by this book and it was cool to get to know the women behind the movement. This is a great read for anyone looking for a push to dive back into or start studying the Bible. 

Me, Myself, & Lies: What To Say When You Talk to Yourself by Jennifer Rothschild

This book did not blow my mind or show me anything new about myself or God, but it did serve as a reminder that what is going on in my mind matters. How I talk to myself in my mind and out loud has an effect on my attitude, how I view God, and the others around me. What I speak over my life matters just as much as what I accept into my heart. A great book and a quick read if you are struggling with negative self-talk and perspective. 

Beautiful Uncertainty: Singleness, Surrender, And Stepping Out On Faith by Mandy Hale

This was my dud of the year. I hate saying that because I believe every book and every word that is written serves a purpose. This book just did not live up to the hype I had in my mind and did not serve me well in my season of life. With that said I could see this book encouraging younger women and I highly recommend Mandy’s other books as well. She does crack me up and her words are filled with sass and grace. This book may not be a part of my permanent collection, but I think it will sit well with young women in their mid to late teens and early twenties. 

No More Faking Fine: Ending the Pretending by Esther Fleece

This book was heavy in the best way possible. This past year has been a year of release and letting go of the weights in my life and part of that process has been learning to not pretend. I am a social morpher and have spent way to many years stuffing my emotions and feelings to keep the peace. This book was part of the process of breaking down walls and learning to lament in my life and embracing the biblical truth of releasing emotions, to live a life of authenticity and soul health. 

Curious Faith: Rediscovering Hope In The God of Possibility by Logan Wolfram

This book wrecked my heart. 2017 year was an emotionally difficult year going through the 12-step program and this book helped keep me fueled and going as it challenged me to look at my faith through fresh eyes. Growing up in the church can be a challenge, but like each of us on our various journeys we can become burnt out and bored with everything that goes along with believing in Jesus. This book energized my spirit and tore down some bitterness walls in my heart towards the church and organized Christianity. This book is a lifelong companion for my soul. 

Love Story: The Hand That Holds Us From the Garden to the Gates by Nichole Nordeman

Nicole Nordeman is a brilliant writer, I love her music and thoroughly enjoyed this book. Love Story gave me a desire to dive back into the Old Testament and embrace the stories I grew up hearing over and over to the point that my heart grew cold towards them. This book is different in that Nicole takes us on a journey of her life through the eyes of these familiar biblical characters as she is going through the process of writing the music for The Story album. It is a brilliant book and great if you are struggling to fall in love with the Old Testament tales. Another book that will stay on my shelf for years to come.

Wild in the Hollow: On Chasing Desire and finding the Broken Way Home by Amber C. Haines

Wild in the Hollow was a breath of grace. Every single individual’s life journey is beautiful and messy and I tend to desire my life not only to look, but be beautiful all the time, when in reality it is a hot mess. My days are filled with ups and downs as I journey through and they have been that way since the beginning of time. Amber’s story is hard, real, and I have a huge amount of respect for anyone who can write their story with such fierce wild abandon for the sake of others knowing Jesus better. You will cry, laugh, and connect with the beautiful brokenness of humanity and the power of grace in a life. Grace is beautiful and so are these words, another keeper for the life library. 

The Beauty of Grace: Stories of God’s Love From Today's’ Most Popular Writers edited by Dawn Camp

I love a good book of essays and this one is on my list of favorites. Grace again has been a theme in 2017 and this book was good to read during a rough college class when my reading time was not as long as I would’ve liked it to be. This book is filled with essays from some of my favorite Christian authors including Emily P. Freeman, Holley Gerth, Ann Voskamp, and Leeana Tankersley. This was a sweet book and was again uplifting during a time when I was striving for the impossible; perfection on this side of heaven. 

Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic For A Simpler,More Soulful Way Of Living by Shauna Niequist

I have read most of Shauna’s books, and this one may be my favorite. Perfectionism is one of my struggles and this book has brought me back to the truth…. this life is a journey and my struggles and your struggles will never be over and done, we are on a journey of transformation through the power of the Holy Spirit. Being present in my life looks like saying no to all the things that I spend time on that do not benefit my soul and cultivating what matters; people over image and perception. I cannot recommend this book enough. It was definitely a great book to lead into a New Year and chapter of life.

That is a wrap on my Non-fiction 2017 Booklist. As always my fiction list is way to long for me to compile into one post for you. But my fiction journey included making it through 48 of the 65 Nancy Drew Books, all the new Karen Kingsbury from 2017, and my new discovery was the Gender Game books, if you like Hunger Games and Divergent this is a series for you. 

I hope you are always reading books that inspire and challenge you. 

- Hannah

Breathing Practice

Breathing is the practice of inhaling, taking in, and exhaling, letting out. The constant intake and outtake of air is crucial for life. There have been a few lessons I have learned through healing from my birth defect, but breathing has been the biggest physical one. I spent many years taking in shallow inhales, instead of deep full breaths. Learning to breathe is hard. Such a simple but complex part of every living persons day is difficult for me. I spent so many years taking in bits of air, that taking in big bunches of it overwhelms me. I can’t regulate myself, so I go back to taking in shallow bursts. 

I notice this strongly when I am circuit training. There are certain movements that I have learned to breathe through. I’ve found rhythm there. But there are others where I get so caught up in the speed and form that I forget to breathe, which in circuit training you feel the effects of quickly. I go from pumped and in the zone to exhausted and completely out of breath. I stop and pace, until I can breathe again. Deep and full. Deep and full. It is frustrating to me, that after several years I still can’t seem to get my breathing straight. Even at rest I catch myself doing the bare minimum to receive air. I have become extremely aware of how much I take in and let out. 

The air we breathe is important. What we let in and let out of our lives is crucial, it is vitally important to our health and to our soul too. 

As I go between feeling strong and weak during my circuits, I become more aware of the discipline it takes to be whole. To move precisely, is to gain strength, but it is weakened without the discipline of my breathing. I am in and of myself swayed from short and shallow to deep and purposeful in my life. It takes discipline to look around and through the flow of intake to turn from short and shallow to embrace the deep and purposeful. It takes discipline to wrestle with God and to know him. I need the constant taking in of Him because He is the best air for me and He enables me to exhale what is good for others. I find rhythm in areas that I have grown in, but there are many others where I go from speed to burn out. It is frustrating that after many years of walking with Christ, I do not have the rhythm with Him. I still try to make it on my own until once again I realize how little I am taking in and letting out. 

As I discipline my body to breathe in and out fully, I am reminded that it takes discipline to be in relationship with Christ and live out what He has given me. To breath fully. To live whole. 

-Hannah

Say It

Question: In what areas of your life can you practice more honesty?

Simple…all areas. I feel the pressure to keep it all together. To look, achieve, and be what the world wants me to be, what people want me to be. My focus can be so easily stolen from eternity to seeking out the momentary, putting all my time and energy into things that are temporal, instead of towards people who are lasting.

The things are heavy, the degree, status, appearance, juggling all of the hats and labels to fit into a mold. A mold that I despise. A mold I have never fit into, but secretly always wanted to. I have wanted to be that girl who has it all, but life has shown me that having it all doesn’t mean anything without Jesus. I know so many who have the job, social status, community…all the things that look like a thriving and healthy life, but are dying on the inside. Because like me, smiles do not always depict the real story within. Just because someone serves, cares, and checks in doesn’t mean they do not need people to serve, care, and check in on them.

I guess I should just cut the crap and say it. I do not like the church and I do not like Christianity. I love Jesus and believe that he came, lived, died, and rose and is coming again, so that I could know him and live in forgiveness and freedom. Jesus did not come, live, die, and rise so that I could keep living inside a facade that is made of service, love, and grace, but keeps brokenness hidden inside. I spent a good hunk of my life hiding myself and running away from lies I told and believed. I found Jesus in the midst of the darkness and now live in the light. 

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

“It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1 

Living in freedom through salvation is not about hiding out and keeping secrets, it is about living boldly and out loud. I am tired of living and feeling obligated to keep my brokenness and the hardships that come from this broken world hidden for the sake of keeping face within my religion.

I do not have it figured out. I just know I love Jesus and I love people, even though they drive me insane, but I know I probably drive them mad too. Dancing around pain for the sake of religions face, is the very thing Jesus died to set us free from. It starts when we make our church our god, instead of letting God be our God. I have always heard in the church about “your faith becoming your own”, and it is true instead of leaning on what my parents have said and taught me, I chose Jesus as my Savior because I could not live on my own. I could not save myself or make myself worthy. I am Hannah, because of what Jesus did for the world. I am alive, because He saved me and healed me. He loved me when no one liked me and He will never stop being in my life. He is my Savior, he saved me and continues to heal me. But, there is another crutch outside of the family unit, there is the church.

I did not know how easy it could be to switch the crutch tendency to the church, till I realized I had done it myself. It is easy to become dependent on others who believe and center Jesus on them. Instead of putting Jesus first, the church becomes first. The church then became what my devotion and desire to serve was about, it was no longer about Him, but them.

Here me, I think the church is beautiful. I grew up in the church and I have been through the wringer with the church.  I am a believer that meeting together with other believers is a great encouragement to the soul and a source of accountability, but that building full of people should not become or ever be the source of hope, service, and salvation. The church can’t save you or me. It is a gathering of broken people who more often than not are pretending not to be. But instead of being honest about their burdens, cover it up by talking about God’s faithfulness. Maybe those people are preaching truth to themselves. But I would appreciate a group of people who are willing to say life sucks right now and it is taking every ounce of discipline to just open the Bible each day and to believe that God is in this with me. That is reality. This life of faith is hard as well as good.

Just to be honest. I would love it if every Christian would cut the crap and be real about their life. I love Jesus and life is hard. I love Jesus and I struggle with sin. I love Jesus and sometimes I do not want to go to church. I love Jesus and the Christians around me drive me insane. I love Jesus and I turn to Him when I am doubting and struggling. It is a struggle. My relationship with Jesus is imperfectly beautiful, and I am the imperfect part. This is my life. It is messy, beautiful, painful, and abundant.

I truly love my life, ick and all, because it is what I have been given and I know its goodness is not dependent on circumstances but my Savior. That is truth. But, I struggle with holding on to that truth. There are days I just want to scream at the top of my lungs, and never speak to another soul again. I struggle with loneliness and my health. My identity is a place where I feel attacked the most. Why can’t I find a place within the church when I already have a place at Jesus’ table? Do I really want to get married or do I want to be just so everyone will shut up about my relationship status or lack of one? These are just a few of my broken places.

I am tired of being snuffed out. I am tired to being told to be quite and watching others struggle alone and be made to believe that keeping quiet about struggles is acceptable and the ticket to inclusion within the church. It is not of God’s heart. Jesus it is not an invite only party, but an invite your friends, family and every stranger is welcome here party. 

This is just part of me being honest. Will you be honest too? Life is too short to live a lie.  

- Hannah