This week's Brave Story is tender to me, because I see this woman everyday. Angela Cox is my mom, friend, and editor of all my school assignments and writing projects. She is amazing in more ways than one, but it is her daily perseverance in the face of daily pain that has me and everyone that knows her in awe. Her faith is beautiful. Her example is one I follow. I am honored to introduce you to the woman that has championed my life. This is my Mom. This is her Brave. - Hannah
"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in
my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalms 139:13-14
My story begins on my birthday, May 22, 1963, I was born
with several musculoskeletal problems. I
was diagnosed with Scoliosis, curvature of the spine, at the age of
four. I honestly don’t know if I have ever lived a day without pain. I don’t
remember being in a lot of pain as a child but when I look at pictures from my
childhood, I see the face of a child in pain. I do remember complaining to my
parents about my back hurting while standing at the sink washing dishes. My dad
though I was trying to get out of doing my chores; he told me to stop
complaining and get the job done. I think somewhere along the way I just
accepted that pain was just a part of my life, blocked it out, and just kept on
moving.
There were just certain things I couldn’t do, I was never an
athlete. I wore a Milwaukee back brace for twenty-three hours a day from the
fourth grade until my Junior year in high school when the doctors began weaning
me out of it, that brace kept me from having back surgery. During that one hour
of freedom, I was to shower and do back exercises the doctors had prescribed
for me. I wasn’t a cooperative patient when it came to the exercises. I fought
my parents about doing them and they would bribe me to do them. Somewhere along
the way, they gave up fighting me and I stopped doing them. I saw doctors
frequently throughout my childhood and teen years but once I was free of the
brace and the doctors dismissed me, I stopped seeing anyone on a regular basis.
I was tired of all the doctor visits and just wanted to live
life. I graduated from college, went to work for a major oil company, got
married, and had a child all while dealing with back pain to some degree on a
daily basis. On occasion I would have very painful back spasms. My remedy was
Advil and laying flat on the floor with my feet propped up. The pain would
resolve and I would get back up and keep on going. If the pain got to be more
than the Advil could handle, I would go to my primary care doctor and get a
prescription for muscle relaxers. A couple of days later all would be good and
I would get back up and keep on going.
In the summer of
2010, my family had an opportunity to travel with our Senior Pastor to Greece
and Turkey. I really wanted to go on that trip. I had lived in Turkey for two
years as a young child, the trip included sites I had visited as a child and
the city I had lived in. However, my husband pointed out that I couldn’t go on
the trip because of my back issues. I realized that I had been letting my back
pain determine how I lived life. Once that realization hit, I got mad. I
decided that it was time to follow-up with a specialist.
Over the next seven years, I saw five orthopedic specialists
and a pain management doctor. I walked away from each visit frustrated and
angry. There is no good medical solution for my pain problem. The only thing
the medical world has to offer me at this point is pain pills, muscle relaxers,
and steroid injections. The problem is I am super-sensitive to pain medication.
One Advil knocks me out. If the label says, “medication might cause
drowsiness,” I’m going to sleep. My primary care doctor shakes his head at me
because I refuse to take a muscle relaxer every night. Yes, the muscle relaxer
helps but I’m useless until after noon the day after I take one. I don’t want
to live my life as a zombie who can’t function. The steroid injections would
weaken my bones over time. The last doctor I saw recommended that I avoid them.
He felt that I would need back surgery within the next ten years and I need my
bones to be as strong as possible.
There have been times throughout my life that I’ve been
angry at God. I’ve questioned why he made me this way? Why can I not live a life free of pain? I
have over time come to see my back pain as my thorn in the flesh. It is there
to keep me humble and remind me that I can do nothing in my own strength. It is
there to slow me down and keep me focused.
It also reminds me that this world is a fallen place full of pain and
sorrow. This world is not my home, there will come a time when I will be free
of this broken body and the pain.
I live life at a slower pace than most, but I also live a
full life. At this time in my life, I volunteer in the front office at the
church; during the school year, I volunteer at a Good News Club; I’m helping
launch a non-profit organization that will serve youth aging out of foster
care; and I’m taking an online course to become a proofreader. For now, I take
Advil or a muscle relaxer if the pain gets to be too much, sit in my zero
gravity recliner, use my acupuncture pad, and periodically I do my stretches.
Yes, after all these years, I’m still not the best patient when it comes to
doing my exercises daily. I pray the last doctor I saw was wrong and I will
never “need” back surgery. However, I’ve noticed over the last couple of years
that my spine is shifting and twisting.
This one thing I do know, “I can do all
things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13
......................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Angela volunteers in different capacities in her church and
community. She has a Bachelor of Business Administration with a major in
Accounting from East Texas State University. Angela is a licensed CPA—and
believe it or not, she actually likes doing income
taxes!
Angela devoted years of her life to raising and homeschooling
her daughter who is now an adult. She is passionate about encouraging youth to
make their own path and select the career that's right for them. In her free
time Angela enjoys reading, genealogy, quilting, and learning new things.
She is on the board of WAY Alliance a non-profit in North Texas, helping young adults who are aging out of the foster care system step into the bright future before them.
